13 June 2014
Dearest Ramona,
Just when I thought you would make it through a complete term at Hogwarts without me having to send a HOWLER, I woke up this morning, stumbled into the bathroom, and saw in the mirror that MY HAIR HAD TURNED BRIGHT GREEN.
I hear from your professors that you are quite skilled at changing the color of people’s hair - and I am very proud of your talents - but it seems this particular spell went amiss. Perhaps you were practicing at home last night and thought you were aiming the spell at one of Zola’s stuffed animals but you got me instead.
Apart from the green hair I discovered that MY CHEST HAIR IS BRIGHT ORANGE. And while that’s easy enough to cover up, the green hair is presenting a bit of a problem. For of course it’s not St Patrick’s Day, or Mardi Gras or even Halloween. It is simply June 13th and people are wondering about the green hair. I certainly can’t say I did it in honor of the 1191st birthday of Charles the Bald, known for being a late Roman Emperor, can I?
My sources tell me that today is, it turns out, World Okra Day, and so I guess I will just have to tell people that I really, really, love okra. I just don’t know if they’ll buy it, especially when it was just two months ago I had to pretend it was World Extra Limbs Day when another of your mishaps gave me an extra left arm for the day. So I may lose my job or get shipped off to the loony bin. When you visit, please remember to have ready the counterspell. I tried everything and so far nothing has worked.
Love,
Dad
PS - Hunca Munca has a frugal mind.
