"100% behind this move"

That's what my dad said. He was sitting next to my mom on one couch and Jake and I were sitting on another that was perpendicular to their couch.

Jake and I started laughing. My mom smiled. Did he think he was for real?

My parents are very supportive parents. They always back me up and usually they mean it. But my mom’s visit to New Orleans was emotional for her and when she flew out she hadn’t made sense of how she was feeling. So she was feeling all over us, while trying to be upbeat and encouraging and nurturing. It was confusing.

For my parents, going through this change with our family through phone calls and a blog has not been easy. I’ve kept them updated each step of the way, but the fact of the matter is that we are all sad because we won’t be living in closer proximity to one another as we move into a more settled time in out lives and my parents retire.

The thing is that my parents weren’t planning to feel this way. They lived in Salem with both of their parents at arm’s length and they have specifically told Jake and me (a million times) to fly away. They have said again and again that they don’t expect to live by us. They know that we will be close wherever we are. They want us to do what we want to do; what God wants for us and our families. They want us to feel free.

And we have flown and we do feel free.

But there are these pesky things called insecurities and feelings that get in the way of the party line. In one conversation (months ago) my mom said, “Why do you guys keep talking about this move like it’s long-term? You’ve never lived anywhere long-term. Why does this have to be it?” In another my dad puzzled, as many others had, about why we would leave the Harvard hospitals for the training. Then there were questions about the respiratory health of our kids, the public schools, the torn up roads, the poverty, and on and on. I tried to reassure them about every detail. The kids meds are down when they are in NOLA, Sumner’s school is a step up for him, etc. I reminded them again and again that I feel called to New Orleans. We want to help rebuild a city that has been teetering on the edge and is dying.

My mom’s cousin Judy told her, “You can’t argue with God.” And you can’t, but you can still feel really sad. You can be sad that your daughter is settling far from where you’ll be instead of a 1 to 4 hour drive that you hoped she’d be. You can be sad that your grandkids are going through transitioning and they are sad. You can just been sad.

So we were able to laugh at my dad. This ithing is that he is 100% behind this move, but he’d been going on for weeks as if he wasn’t. He had feelings. Thank God that we can talk and laugh about it. I guess that is what supportive comes down to: talking and laughing and feeling. It is certainly more than just saying, “Go for it.”