A real hamster

When I was little, my cousin's wife (now x-wife) began to design stuffed animals. These animals are not your basic beanie babies or some sort of stuff-a-bear-in-a-mall thing. These animals look real--really real. Back when I knew her, she was just starting out and her living room was always full of rabbit pelts that she was cutting up and refashioning into new animals. Her latest gig is to make stuffed animals that are replicas of real ones. Its better than taxidermy. She makes stuffed animals to look like real animals. I'm not kidding and I admit I think it is creepy. I located her after a quick google search. You may want to check out her website; it is not for the faint hearted, but this story will be even better if you are familiar with her work.

Anyway, one of the things she made for us long ago was a finger puppet that has the shape and feel of a teddy bear hamster. She might have made this puppet because Jacob had a series of hamsters who all died over a three or four year period. There was Ben, then Teddy, and then Wes, who it is suspected my mother coldly euthanized with a paper bag one rainy Oregon day. Perhaps this finger puppet was meant to soothe his loss. I am not sure what the truth of this matter was, but I like to imagine my cousin's x-wife, misty-eyed, threading her needle, getting ready to re-craft a bit of rabbit into a stand-in pet for my sensitive little brother.

Whatever the reason it was created, this tiny puppet looks really real. I think it is made of rabbit fur, it has black beady eyes, and little pink ears and a nose made out of suede. It is really quite amazing and if you put the puppet on your index finger and then wrap your other hand around the base of it, it looks like you have a real hamster. When we were in middle and high school Jacob and I used to trick our friends with it and on one occasion we so petrified Mom, she screamed bloody murder for at least 20 seconds without a breath. A giggle still rises up in me when I think of it.

FAST FORWARD 16 years. My children love to tease my mom about her fear of rodents. Nearly every time they talk to her, they mention a rat or a mouse or some such thing. They plot together (as Jake and I used to) ways to scare her and she gladly plays along--shrieking and shivering as much as possible.

So to carry on their little joke, in one of my mom's most recent shipments of my childhood junk to New Orleans, I found a lumpy, sealed envelope addressed to Sumner and Ramona. Since I always sort through these junk shipments from home when the children are not around--I fear they will lay claim to things that I think are rubbish--I was the one that found the envelope. I opened it and played with it for a few minutes one night, looking forward to showing it off to them the next morning.

As always, Sumner got up first. I was sure that he would be very excited to see this rodent replica. I imagined he, Ramona, Phil, and I using this hamster puppet to play practical jokes on all of our friends. I was sure that Sumner would find this rediscovered toy a pure delight. I was wrong.

At 5:45 the following morning, he got up and made his way downstairs to find me checking my email or making their lunches. I slipped the puppet on my finger as soon as I heard him on the steps and when he got to me I announced that we had a new pet, a hamster. Then I waited for him to examine the specimen. He looked confused and then asked, "Really?"

I directly offered to let him hold it and I put the puppet in his hand to let him discover the truth. He was puzzled and slightly disturbed.

"Grannabelle sent it," I told him. "It's a hamster puppet. Isn't it real-looking?"

He picked it up between two fingers and, looking over his glasses at me, asked, "Did they just hollow out a hamster to make it?"

That is a replica for you. Too good to be true. Or real.

I felt that old giggle rise in me again.