Raw

Debra by Beck is playing. ( Jake and Phil and I had some fun listening to this with Jake's friend Luke in Quito in 2000. That seems like a long time ago.)

When I blog, I often blog about the trivial and use it to tell about something--an idea or a joke or a value--that I am working out in my own head. I also use my blog to just practice writing and describing things.

There have been a lot of times when I want to write about more. I want to write about hard stuff. I want to write about fighting with Philip and I want to write about the intricacies of race that I am thinking about and I want to write about the pressure of choosing a residency program and city to move to and that making this choice feels like we are choosing the rest of our lives. I want to make the blog rawer. Mainly it would help me to articulate my thinking and feelings about these harder things. I want to capture more vunerablity. Sometimes I think that I paint a picture of only the bright side of things. I would like to paint every side of things.

The reality is, although I can write about turds of pooh, I just can't get into the raw stuff. For goodness sake, my mom and my mother-in-law and Philip read this. This blog has a PG rating. But really, the hard stuff is--naturally--hard to write about. I have attempted to write about these things, but these blogs remain in my edit box, probably never to be published to the public. Yet I think these are the things people really could get a lot out of reading. I know I would get a lot out of writing these things.

If I write a "raw" blog, it will carry an R rating.