I Am So Tired

Like a Rolling Stone, Bob Dylan

I am newborn-baby tired. I am stayed-up-all-night-to-finish-a-paper tired. I am so-dreading-when-my-children-wake-up tired. I am can't-stand-to-see-their-
little-faces-tomorrow-morning tired. I am tired from crying and I am tired from not crying enough. I am after-a-day-in-the-garden tired. I am tired of lists of things to do. I am even-a-cup-of-tea-with-extra-honey-doesn't-help tired. I am just so tired.

And I am afraid to go get into bed. I am afraid that I will get in bed and not be able to go to sleep. I long to sleep all day long, yet I can't as soon as I lay down.

Today I tried to take a nap. I got the temperature right in my bedroom. Both kids were asleep. I put in ear plugs. I read the Psalms--usually a sure ticket to quiet sleep. I follow the Word of God with a refrian of the Lord's Prayer, praying it again and again like the Catholic I am not. Nothing. Not one minute of sleep.

This is not good.