Phil's fashion sense

I shop fast. I get dressed quickly. Most days I can't bother with a shower. Too much hassle.

Phil has quite a beauty regime. He takes at least 30 minutes, but sometimes more, grooming in the morning. I estimate that this is how long it took me to get ready on my wedding day. He has to consider a couple of different outfits and asked my advice about if he should go with the brown shoes and belt or what the black.

I don't always ask Phil's opinion about what I am wearing, but Phil lets me know what he thinks of each piece of clothing. When we first started dating, this was helpful. He complimented me like crazy and I liked it and it made me feel good about myself. But 2 babies, lots of lactating, and seven years later I don't always appreciate his advice. For the first several years of marriage, I took his advice quite seriously. When I was pregnant with Sumner, Phil even bought all of my maternity clothes for me. And when his criticism came, it would make me bristle.

But over the last few years, his advice has become downright bizarre and impossible. Strange and twisted.

Today I got a new skirt. I really liked it. My mother-in-law got it for me for my birthday. Mine is not shown on the link. It is plum. I bought a harmless black t-shirt to go with it. I tried on the outfit for Phil. That's when he started spouting his usual nonsense.

Before I relate some of the impossible things he said, let me tell you that Phil thinks I should wear pants all the time. He claims that if a woman wants to look "foxy" she wears pants. And, of course, I am after a sex-kitten-panther-foxy-soccer-mom look. "No one wears skirts," he tells me. I really prefer skirts to pants.

He also tells me I dress like a mom. This is not a compliment. Go figure. If I get something hip, he says that it is too cool for me and my "look". Tonight he told me that a belt I got, "threw him off." He liked it, it was pretty cool, but maybe too cool, for little me. It is madness.

Once he saw me in the new skirt and t-shirt I could tell what his verdict will be. "It looks like high-school goth. I don't really like that peasant-hippi thing." Where did he learn these terms? What can I do? What can I say? He concedes that it fits well and looks good, but he doesn't like it? And he can't provide any suggestions, except for: "more pants."

This from a man who can hardly match his khakis to his 6 blue and white button down shirts. It's too much. I have moved way beyond being offended and into the realm of just shaking my head and wearing whatever I damn well please.