Tomorrow

I start school tomorrow. After taking a semester and summer off, I'm not sure I want to go back into the classroom and take a class and I am not sure about doing this internship at Sumner's school. My class is called Teachers, Leadership, and Power: Changing the Teaching Career. My internship is a project at Sumner's school to initiate inclusive parent engagement and communication across all grade levels, races, and socio-economic realities. That's a mouthful. The work will be fun, but not if it cuts into the important stuff.

You see, I want to live a counter-cultural life, which means...

I don't want to rush. I want to avoid driving (not because I don't LOVE my minivan) because I want to walk more. I want to value time to just sit and be still and encourage my kids to do the same. I want to set aside time to be creative. I want to cook and bake and have my kids help me with that. I want to have time to chit chat with friends and time to be by myself. I want to know what God is pulling, calling, me to do. I want to rest in the knowledge that I am doing that thing.

In the past work and school have cut in on doing these counter-cultural things. My desire to get the job done well and get strokes for the job well done cause me to lose perspective. I feel like I am on a hampster wheel that is spinning and spinning and I don't know how to stop it. When I work to jard, I think to myself: if only I could get off this damn thing and get over to my bowl of little green pellats and take a little nap. If only that hand from the sky would lift me out of here and cuddle me for a while. I get all confused and muddled about why I am still spinning. I get frantic sometimes, but mainly I am just puzzled that life is moving, but not going anywhere.

Alright, enough paranoid anticipation for one night. I am going to start school tomorrow. I am going to take it one day at a time.